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Apr 5, 2023
This blog is an excerpt from our mini-therapy on this discomfort.
what is a discomfort?
Discomfort is anything that could be stopping you from achieving what you really want to achieve. Any feeling or issue that you’re currently struggling with.
what is a mini-therapy?
A mini-therapy is hyper-personalized, bite-sized content delivered via an immersive and interactive therapy experience on the ‘being’ app. It’s designed by experienced mental health professionals and helps you work through a discomfort by using therapeutic interventions that they would use in in-person therapy.
Note: For the most optimal experience, try the mini-therapy on the ‘being’ app :’)
the excerpt:
What a joy it is to have friends whose company you enjoy! Friendship is such a special relationship, isn’t it? We have no obligation or compulsion to have this person in our lives. We choose them over and over again. It is also that one relationship in our lives where we can be ourselves because our lives don’t intertwine with our friends' often.
Friends are like passengers on parallel trains sticking their hands out to each other, enjoying this wild ride!
Friends come in all shapes and sizes. Some, we may have shared interests and activities we can do together. Others, we may like to have around to party. And there are a selected few with whom we can develop deeper bonds. They become people we can lean on, and seek support from in times of need. And vice versa.
What are your friendships like? Why don’t you tell me about it?
Guided Journaling Tool
Prompt: What type of friendships do you have? What kind of friends do you have?
Prompt: What do you like about your friends?
Prompt: In order to confide in someone, we must first feel safe and comfortable with them. I wonder if you feel this sense of safety in your friendships?
Mindfulness - Visualization Tool
Now I want you to close your eyes and imagine something with me. Imagine you’re learning to swim. Where do you do this? In the ocean? Or in a pool?
I’d guess you learn in a pool.
Where in a swimming pool would you start?
The shallow end, right?
So, here we are, at the shallow end of the pool. We’ve learned about breathing techniques, how to move our arms and feet, and we’re good to go.
Now, as you start swimming, you realize that you can keep your head underwater for a short while. At the beginning, you may need to keep your head above water. As you practice and get better, you can submerge your head under water for two strokes, and then three. Maybe five.
But no matter how adept you get at swimming, you learn that you need to come up to catch a breath every now and then.
Open your eyes and let’s talk.
Building intimacy in relationships is like swimming. Moments of closeness are like swimming with our heads under water. To be able to remain on the shallow end for a longer period of time, we need to first practice controlled breathing, learn strokes and stay on the shallow end.
It sounds like confiding in your friends feels like swimming in the deep end with your head under water.
Confiding in someone can bring up all sorts of uncomfortable feelings. We may feel like we’re burdening someone with our problems. We may fear that they’ll judge us or won’t understand. Or, we may fear that they won’t be able to support us the way we need to. We may feel embarrassed or needy.
These are all barriers to emotional intimacy.
What are your barriers? What comes up for you when you think about confiding in your friends?
Guided Journaling Tool
Prompt: How do you think it would reflect on you if you confided in your friends?
Prompt: How do you imagine your friends responding?
Prompt: What other thoughts and feelings come up?
The fact that you’re thinking about confiding in your friends suggests that there’s a part of you that wants to break through these barriers.
Let’s see how you can do that.
Keep the swimming analogy in mind and remember that it’s okay to catch a breath occasionally. That might look like you need some space and distance from your friends.
As you begin your journey of creating more closeness in your friendships, ask yourself: What kind of support do you need from your friends? The answer to this could be different in different situations, depending on what you’re sharing with them, and who the friend is. You could simply need them to listen. You might want their advice or solutions. Or maybe you’re looking for a different perspective.
A helpful strategy might be to think about this before starting a conversation, and let them know what you need. That can sound like, ‘Hey, I want to talk about something, and I would appreciate if you could lend me an ear, or give me some perspective, or help me come up with a solution.’ Whatever it is that you need.
Let’s end this mini-therapy with an affirmation to help you along this personal growth journey.
Affirmation Tool
‘I embrace growth in my relationships, and myself, and allow the care I deserve.’ x 3
I hope you found this mini-therapy helpful. Remember that it’s okay to start at the shallow end, and work your way up from there.
I wish you happy, healthy and fulfilling friendships.
Take care and just be! 💜