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Apr 4, 2023
This blog is an excerpt from our mini-therapy on this discomfort.
what is a discomfort?
Discomfort is anything that could be stopping you from achieving what you really want to achieve. Any feeling or issue that you’re currently struggling with.
what is a mini-therapy?
A mini-therapy is hyper-personalized, bite-sized content delivered via an immersive and interactive therapy experience on the ‘being’ app. It’s designed by experienced mental health professionals and helps you work through a discomfort by using therapeutic interventions that they would use in in-person therapy.
Note: For the most optimal experience, try the mini-therapy on the ‘being’ app :’)
the excerpt:
Hello. Welcome to your safe space. I am so glad to see you taking care of yourself.
Learning how to trust yourself and believe in yourself is one of the most essential aspects of healthy and happy living.
Staying true to yourself in a world where people's opinions and expectations dominate the mind can be challenging. It is critical to regain our self confidence in the event of a setback or a mess up.
When you want to trust yourself, the journey begins from within. It is all about looking inward despite demands, expectations, and setbacks. It is not selfish to priortize one's desires and be your own authority. It is a crucial element of a fulfilling life.
Trusting oneself means looking after one's needs and safety. Treating yourself with love and compassion irrespective of what happens. You love your family and friends even when they mess up. You understand them. This kind of love and understanding is all that you need rather than striving for perfection because no one is perfect in this world. Refusing to give up on yourself even when nothing is right is self-trust.
Sometimes, lack of self trust can also happen when your parents have often fixed your problems or taken care of your responsibilities. This has not really given you a chance to take responsibility and test your capabilities.
Family, community, and society expect us to be a certain kind of person. This pressure to wear a mask may also make us feel that our original personality isn't good enough.
You are not alone in having a hard time trusting yourself. As we grow up, because we are humans, we all make mistakes, receive negative opinions, experience setbacks and failures. These experiences are bound to create difficulties with establishing self-confidence. As adults, it is our job to navigate through these experiences and build a realistic perspective. We must also challenge our negative baggage. Our problem, however, is that there are some of us who believe in the baggage rather than challenging it, which makes it very difficult.
As we discuss the origins of lacking self-trust, let us delve further into your experiences that affected self-trust in you.
Guided journaling tool
Prompt: Make a list of experiences you have lived that have made it difficult to trust yourself.
Examples: My parents often criticized me when I made a mistake. I was bullied for being slow at school.
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can give you so much clarity.
Not trusting yourself can come in different forms and shapes. Sometimes, you feel like you don't look good enough or are too harsh on yourself. You might find it difficult to make decisions or fear making the wrong choice. It can feel very suffocating when we are not being our authentic selves.
I can understand that it isn't easy for you to not trust yourself. Let us understand how lack of it shows up in you.
Reflective question tool
Reflective Question - How does lack of self-confidence manifest?
Examples: I feel that all my decisions are faulty, I feel that everything I do will not be worthy
Your personal experiences are extremely valuable. I am so glad that you could share some of your personal experiences.
As we navigate through our journey of building trust in ourselves, it is very worthwhile to look at what self-trust looks like. Having an understanding of our destination will motivate us.
You can experience self-trust by being aware of your thoughts & feelings, expressing yourself honestly without any shame, taking care of yourself, adhering to your core values, and pursuing your dreams confidently.
Isn't this a stunning destination to reach? This is so satisfying and relieving.
I encourage you to show up for yourself and be empowered in your attitude to trust yourself and invite others to do the same.
Abandoning yourself is a pattern that develops as children. As children, our parents are responsible for meeting our emotional and physical needs. However, if they cannot meet our needs, we often feel like a burden. As adults, we also choose to invalidate our needs and choose partners who do the same; simply because it is familiar. Abandoning yourself may have been necessary during childhood, but it isn't helpful anymore.
I understand that unfamiliar situations can be overwhelming; however, unfamiliar situations are full of new possibilities and opportunities. It is all about taking a small step towards a bigger and better change.
Let us take small steps towards trusting ourselves.
Give yourself permission to do something for you every day. Each time you listen to your own needs, you will strengthen your sense of self-confidence.
Take small steps every day to reach your destination. Make your needs your priority because they matter!
Guided journaling tool
Prompt: Step 1. Identify your needs. Make a list of things that make you feel happy right now.
Examples: Take a hot shower. Eat your favourite dish. Take a walk.
Prompt: Step 2- Design a self-care routine that works for you. Jot down one small activity you can do to care for your needs.
Examples: A small habit like 20 minutes of exercise, healthy exercise, or regular bedtime
Prompt: Step 3- Say no to something that drains your energy levels. Write down one thing you say no to, to nourish yourself
Prompt - I can say no to my boss when he asks me to do something irrelevant.
That's amazing. Taking care of your needs and prioritizing yourself is extremely essential. The first step is to develop self-compassion.
True confidence comes from feeling good about yourself. Until you get there, find ways to value yourself, even if you don’t feel that way yet.
Don’t worry about bad habits yet. With time and practice, you will slowly incorporate good and healthy habits.
As we move forward in the process, let's visualise a version of yourself where you are confident, taking charge of your life, happy with yourself and true to your values
Visualisation tool
Let's visualise your true self where you trust yourself.
What would your facial experience look like? What clothes would you wear? What kind of activities would you engagein? What kind of people would you interact with? How would you express yourself to them? How strong and happy would you feel?
Visualise your empowered self now.
This must be encouraging and motivating, right?
You can be the empowered self you wish you were. Your vision can come true.
All you need to do is take care of your needs, prioritize yourself at any cost, & take small steps to be in charge of your life. Do not let your past, your fears and your assumptions control over your reality. Whenever you take a step, instead of thinking of the worst case scenario and what can go wrong, remember that there are multiple scenarios that can happen in that situation. Things can go wrong, right or stay the same. Not trying comes at the cost of an unfulfilled life and trying comes at the cost of the risk of failing. It is all about knowing which cost is worth it.
So let us decide the smallest step you can take to take charge of your life and needs. This will enable you to reach closer to the self you visualized. You will never know your worth until you try. This step can be the first step at knowing your worth and building trust in your capabilities.
Reflective question tool
Prompt: What is the first step to reaching your visualized self? Express yourself her
Example 1: I can start looking for a job
Example 2: I can start saving my expenses
Good job. It is these small steps that lead to bigger and better changes.
Taking these small steps will help you know you are capable and competent. Slowly and gradually, when you look at your accomplishments and successes along the way, your confidence and trust will only grow irrespective of what others have to say.
Let's practice these deserved affirmations to feel positive about yourself because you are worth it.
Affirmations tool
My needs matter
I am capable and competent
I am ready and willing to be the best version of myself
This journey has been incredible with you. Thank you for sticking with me throughout. You are so special.
Remember to prioritize yourself, cater to your needs, and take small steps towards being the best version of yourself.
Till then, take care and just be 💜