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Apr 4, 2023
This blog is an excerpt from our mini-therapy on this discomfort.
what is a discomfort?
Discomfort is anything that could be stopping you from achieving what you really want to achieve. Any feeling or issue that you’re currently struggling with.
what is a mini-therapy?
A mini-therapy is hyper-personalized, bite-sized content delivered via an immersive and interactive therapy experience on the ‘being’ app. It’s designed by experienced mental health professionals and helps you work through a discomfort by using therapeutic interventions that they would use in in-person therapy.
Note: For the most optimal experience, try the mini-therapy on the ‘being’ app :’)
the excerpt:
It sounds like you are going through a tough time because your partner is feeling down, and it’s affecting you and your ability to focus on anything. I understand that it can be challenging to deal with our emotions when our loved ones are involved, so it’s crucial for us to acknowledge these feelings.
While it’s important to support our partners through difficult times, it’s also important to recognize the impact that it can have on our own well-being. So, let’s take a moment to explore how YOU’RE feeling and what YOU need in this situation.
Reflective Question Tool
Prompt: What are your thoughts and emotions about your partner feeling down?
Thank you for sharing; I’m sure it wasn’t easy to think about your feelings when you know your partner is feeling down. Many people struggle to support their loved ones because they fail to take care of their emotions first. This reminds me of the phrase, ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup.’ How can you support your loved ones when you have nothing left to give?
Great, let’s dive deeper and explore what’s happening.
It’s normal for us to be affected by our partner’s emotions, especially if they feel down or upset. It can be hard to focus on other things when we are always worried about our partner.
Reflective Question Tool
What specifically about your partner feeling down affects your ability to focus on anything? Is it concern, helplessness, or anything else? Take a few minutes to think about this.
Great! It’s essential to understand the reason behind your inability to focus. Now that we have an idea, we can talk about how you can help your partner but not let the situation affect you mentally.
We have touched on this a little before, but the best way you can be there for your partner is if you don’t let their emotions affect you. This is an important skill to learn. It’s called Emotional Regulation. Emotional regulation is the ability to have control over our emotions and reactions to other people’s feelings. When our partner is feeling down, it’s very easy for us to get caught up in emotions and start to feel down as well. Learning how to regulate our emotions can help us be more emotionally stable and less reactive when trying to support our partner.
Let’s try out an activity to assist our emotional regulation.
Mindfulness - Do nothing Tool
Let’s begin.
Take a deep breath (5 seconds) and exhale slowly (7 seconds). As you exhale, imagine all the anxiousness and stress leaving your body. Now, think of a calming scene or phrase you can repeat to yourself when you feel overwhelmed.
It could be your happy memory, like a happy trip with your partner or your safe space. Or, it could be a phrase like “I am calm and in control” or “I can handle my own emotions.” Repeat this phrase to yourself a few times, and notice how it makes you feel.
Great! Practice this exercise every day and strengthen your control over your emotions. Remember, you control your feelings, not the other way around.
It can be very easy to feel guilty for trying to take care of yourself when your partner is feeling down, but please remember that it’s okay to prioritize your own needs. Sometimes we can get so busy caring for others that we completely overlook our needs. So, let’s try an activity to help you take out a little time for yourself.
Guided Journaling Tool
Where in my busy day can I add time for myself to recharge? What activities can I do that can help me focus on myself? The activities could be - going for a run, reading a book, watching my favorite movies, taking a nice long bath, etc.
It’s imperative to look out for yourself, especially when you have a loved one in need of support. Add these self-care activities to your daily schedule and communicate them to your partner. Let them know that you are there for them with all the love, care, and support, but you need some time out for yourself to recharge too.
To summarise, It can be a very challenging time when our partner is feeling down, and while it’s normal to feel overwhelmed, we can’t let it affect us mentally. We must learn to regulate our emotions to be there for our partner and ourselves. Remember, taking care of ourselves helps us take care of our partner.
If you need more support, I’ll be there for you!
Till then take care, and just be 💜